Understanding the ‘Rejecting Parent’: How Emotional Rejection Shapes Adulthood
Also see my Trauma/ Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents page.
Many people reach adulthood with a sense that something core is missing—a feeling of never quite being accepted, always having to prove themselves, or struggling with persistent self-doubt. In therapy, we often trace these experiences back to early emotional wounds. One framework that can offer insight is Lindsay Gibson's work in Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (ACOEIP). In this series, we’ve been exploring the four subtypes of emotionally immature parents. Today, we focus on the rejecting parent.
This blog post will explore what rejecting parenting can look and feel like in childhood, how it may affect individuals in adulthood, and how therapy can support healing. If you find yourself navigating the lingering effects of emotional rejection, know that change is possible.
What Is a Rejecting Parent?
A rejecting parent is often characterized by emotional unavailability and overt or covert disapproval of their child’s emotional needs. Unlike the passive parent (who may disappear emotionally) or the driven parent (who may push performance over connection), the rejecting parent tends to view their child's emotional expression as an intrusion or inconvenience.
This parent may:
Dismiss or mock displays of emotion
Withdraw affection or attention when the child expresses need
Become irritated by their child’s dependence or sensitivity
Promote independence prematurely
In childhood, this can lead to feelings of rejection, abandonment, or shame around basic emotional needs. A child may internalize the belief: My feelings are too much; I am too much.
The Lasting Impact of Emotional Rejection
Adults who were raised by rejecting parents may experience a wide range of relational and emotional struggles, especially in times of stress or vulnerability. In my Philadelphia-based therapy practice, I often see patterns like:
Avoidance of emotional intimacy: Difficulty opening up or fear of becoming "too dependent."
Shame and self-criticism: A harsh inner dialogue developed to avoid external criticism.
Hyper-independence: A belief that needing others is unsafe or weak.
Emotional numbness: Disconnect from one's own feelings, or confusion around emotional responses.
These experiences can affect personal and professional life. Some clients describe feeling unseen in their relationships or driven in their careers to overcompensate for low self-worth. Others speak of chronic loneliness, even when surrounded by others.
"Rejecting parents avoid emotional connection because they perceive it as a threat to their own autonomy or comfort. Their children often grow up feeling like burdens, striving to earn love that remains out of reach."
—Lindsay Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
How Therapy Helps Rebuild a Sense of Worth
Therapy can help adults untangle the messaging inherited from rejecting caregivers. Together, we explore the origins of emotional shutdown or perfectionism, and begin to gently challenge the belief that needs and feelings are dangerous.
In sessions, we work to:
Identify and validate the emotional wounds of childhood
Rebuild emotional vocabulary and self-trust
Develop safe, reciprocal relational experiences
Set boundaries with emotionally immature family members
Strengthen the internal sense of worth and stability
Through a combination of psychodynamic therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and other evidence-based modalities, clients begin to reclaim their full emotional lives—without shame.
If This Resonates
If you see yourself in this post, you're not alone. Therapy can be a powerful space to explore how early rejection shaped your current patterns, and how you want to relate differently—to yourself, and to others.To learn more about working with a Philadelphia therapist who specializes in adult children of emotionally immature parents, contact us.
You can schedule a consultation to begin exploring these themes in a supportive, thoughtful space.
For more on this topic, read our post on adult children of emotionally immature parents.
Matt Sosnowsky, LCSW, MSW, MAPP is the founder and director of Philadelphia Talk Therapy. For over a decade, Mr. Sosnowsky has provided psychotherapy services in agency and private practice settings, helping individuals overcome mental health challenges, manage life transitions, and find passion & meaning in life.
