An Introduction to IFS Therapy
Also see my Approach page.
Have you ever said something like, "Part of me wants to stay, but another part wants to run"? Or "I'm at war with myself"? These phrases are more than just figures of speech—they point to something very real about the way our minds work. In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy—sometimes called “parts work"—these "parts" are seen as distinct sub-personalities within us, each with its own perspective and motivations. The Pixar movie Inside Out, while not an exact analog, gives you some idea of how this works.
As a therapist in Philadelphia, I’ve found IFS to be a powerful and compassionate approach to healing. This post will introduce you to the basics of IFS, how it works, what it helps treat, and how I incorporate it into my work with clients.
IFS Explained: Understanding the Inner System
IFS, or Internal Family Systems therapy, is based on the idea that the mind is made up of different "parts," and that problems arise when these parts are in conflict. Rather than trying to silence or get rid of these inner voices, IFS helps you understand and work with them in a respectful, healing way.
IFS recognizes three main types of parts:
Exiles – These parts hold the pain of past experiences (e.g., shame, fear, grief). They're often pushed away but can carry intense emotional weight.
Managers – These parts work to keep you safe and in control by managing daily life. They might show up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, or overthinking.
Firefighters – These parts act impulsively to distract from pain or emotional overwhelm. Think: binge-watching, substance use, angry outbursts.
When your parts are polarized—pulling you in opposite directions—it can feel like inner chaos. Maybe one part wants to speak up, while another insists it’s safer to stay quiet. IFS therapy helps by elevating the Self—a calm, grounded, compassionate inner leader—so that your parts can start working together instead of against each other.
A Simple Case Example:
Consider a client named John (name changed for confidentiality), who came to therapy feeling stuck and overwhelmed. Part of John wanted to leave a toxic job, but another part was terrified of financial instability and failure. There was also a critical voice saying, “You’ll never succeed anywhere else.”
Through IFS, we would identify these conflicting parts: a Manager that prioritized security, an Exile holding past fears of rejection, and a Firefighter part that numbed the stress with overworking. As Jamie connected with their Self—curious, calm, and nonjudgmental—we invited each part to share its story. Over time, these parts began to trust Jamie’s Self to lead, reducing internal conflict and opening space for confident decision-making.
What Can IFS Therapy Help With?
Anxiety: In IFS therapy for anxiety, we might work with a Manager part that scans for danger and tries to prevent worst-case scenarios, alongside an Exile carrying early fears of being unsafe or unprepared. Helping these parts feel seen can bring a sense of calm and relief.
Depression: For clients struggling with depression, we might encounter a part that feels heavy or hopeless and another that tries to suppress emotion to maintain functionality. IFS work would gently help those parts trust that the Self can safely hold their pain, allowing energy and perspective to return over time.
Trauma: IFS is particularly well-suited for trauma work. We might meet a Firefighter part that shuts down during emotional intimacy and an Exile carrying shame or terror from past experiences. IFS therapy allows these parts to be met with safety and compassion without overwhelming the system.
OCD: With OCD, protective Manager parts might enforce rituals to prevent harm or discomfort, while an underlying Exile fears something terrible will happen if the rules aren’t followed. IFS can support relief by creating internal trust and loosening the grip of compulsions.
Perfectionism and Burnout: We might work with a driven Manager pushing for constant achievement and an Exile fearing failure or inadequacy. IFS therapy helps these parts soften and reconnect with balance, rest, and self-worth.
You can learn more about how I work with each of these issues on my Specialties page.
Watch a brief introduction to IFS by it’s pioneer Richard Schwartz.
How I Use IFS in Therapy
At Philadelphia Talk Therapy, I take an eclectic approach to therapy applying one or several clinical modalities and theories to match different problems and personality types. I will sometimes, but not always, incorporate IFS, depending on the individual’s style and personal preference. Clients are welcome to explore IFS at their own pace—some dive right in, while others integrate it gradually with CBT, mindfulness, or psychodynamic work.
I use IFS to help clients:
Build a more compassionate relationship with themselves
Understand why certain behaviors or emotional responses keep showing up
Create internal harmony by helping parts feel heard, rather than pushed away
Heal from past wounds in a way that feels safe and empowering
Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, trauma, or just a feeling of being stuck, IFS can offer a new way to relate to your inner experience.
Ready to Explore Your Inner World?
If you're curious about Internal Family Systems therapy and how it might help you understand yourself on a deeper level, I’d love to connect. As a Philadelphia-based therapist experienced in IFS, I offer thoughtful, evidence-informed care that meets you where you are.
If you’re ready to learn more about yourself, I’d be honored to help you take the next step. I offer free 30-minute video consultations so you can share what’s going on, ask any questions, and see if therapy feels like a good fit. Feel free to reach out.
Matt Sosnowsky, LCSW, MSW, MAPP is the founder and director of Philadelphia Talk Therapy. For over a decade, Mr. Sosnowsky has provided psychotherapy services in agency and private practice settings, helping individuals overcome mental health challenges, manage life transitions, and find passion & meaning in life.
Want to learn more about Philadelphia Talk Therapy and how we help ? Get in touch today.
