Fixing Your Relationship with Alcohol
Also see my Life Transitions page.
At Philadelphia Talk Therapy, I often work with clients who find themselves reevaluating their relationship with alcohol. Not because they meet the criteria for alcoholism, but because something just feels... off. Maybe the hangovers are getting worse, or you find yourself saying or doing things you regret. Maybe you’re tired of the tension it causes at home. Or maybe you’ve had a wake-up call—an ER visit, a blackout, or a DUI. These moments can prompt a deeper question: Is alcohol still serving me?
The truth is, not all alcohol-related problems fall into the category of addiction. Sometimes, the issue is a growing mismatch between your drinking habits and the life you want to lead.
The Subtle Shift
For many, drinking starts as a social, carefree ritual—often in college or early adulthood. But over time, what once felt harmless may begin to feel incongruous with evolving priorities: parenting, professional demands, long-term health, or emotional stability.
You might start to notice:
Hangovers that last longer or feel harder to bounce back from
Feelings of guilt, shame, or anxiety after drinking
Irritability or withdrawal from loved ones
Arguments with a partner about drinking habits
A nagging sense that something isn’t right
This shift often happens slowly, but for some, it’s catalyzed by a single scary moment: a night you don’t remember, a fight that crossed a line, DUI or other legal or medical consequence.
After the Wake-Up Call: Now What?
Many people respond to these moments with an instinct to stop drinking altogether. And for some, abstinence is the right call. But for others, quitting cold turkey feels overwhelming or even unnecessary. What you might really be craving isn’t just abstinence—it’s clarity, empowerment, and a way to make drinking feel optional rather than automatic.
This is where therapy can help. Working with a therapist doesn’t mean you’re committing to lifelong sobriety. It means you’re giving yourself the space to figure out:
What role do I want alcohol to play in my life (if any)?
What are the patterns and triggers that lead to regrettable decisions?
How can I honor my values, responsibilities, and goals while still feeling free and connected?
Rebuilding on Your Terms: Risk Factors and Protective Barriers
One of the most empowering parts of this work is learning how to make decisions from a place of intention, not impulse. In therapy, we look at both risk factors and protective barriers:
Common risk factors include:
Drinking with people who normalize excess
Using alcohol to cope with stress or emotional discomfort
Environments where drinking is the default
Lack of sleep, poor boundaries, or unresolved shame
Protective barriers might include:
Accountability partners or routines that support moderation
Thoughtful planning around events (What will I drink? When? With whom?)
Choosing to abstain in settings that feel high-risk
Exploring alternative ways to decompress, connect, or celebrate
You don’t need to have a dramatic story to justify making a change. You just need to be ready to live in greater alignment with your values.
In Therapy, We Focus on the Whole Picture
At Philadelphia Talk Therapy, I work with clients to explore the deeper emotional and psychological patterns that shape their behaviors. This might include:
Understanding why alcohol became a coping strategy
Identifying what roles alcohol has played in your relationships
Exploring perfectionism, anxiety, loneliness, or trauma that underlie unhealthy patterns
Rebuilding self-trust, emotional regulation, and more adaptive coping skills
Together, we develop a plan that fits your life. For some, that means abstaining completely. For others, it means redefining a healthier, more conscious relationship with drinking.
Ready to Reevaluate?
If your relationship with alcohol is starting to feel misaligned with the life you’re trying to build, you’re not alone. Therapy offers a nonjudgmental space to clarify what you want and how to get there. Schedule a consultation if you're curious about how therapy can support these challenges.
Matt Sosnowsky, LCSW, MSW, MAPP is the founder and director of Philadelphia Talk Therapy. For over a decade, Mr. Sosnowsky has provided psychotherapy services in agency and private practice settings, helping individuals overcome mental health challenges, manage life transitions, and find passion & meaning in life.
